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  • Fury

    This fucking movie. This fucking turd sundae of a movie has been hyped to fuck over the last year. In the first 30 minutes of this 2 hours and 15 minutes long turd sundae I have ascertained 2 things. First, we've been lied to. The Americans were actually the bad guys, not the Germans. The Americans are the ones cold heartedly executing surrendered soldiers. I have ascertained also that the Germans had no fucking idea how to fight a war - we must also have been lied to about how successful they were in the early part of the war because the tactics they use in this movie are insane. I see Germans engaging American armoured columns with machine guns. Infantry running out in to the open to shoot at American tanks with rifles and machine guns. When the German anti tank guns are destroyed, rather than retreat they choose to run out in to the open and engage American tanks with small arms fire.

    Shane (from the Walking Dead) manages to be even more of a dick in this film than he is in Walking Dead. In Walking Dead he's just a medium sized dick but in Fury he's an extra large dick. He's such a dick (and so are most of the main characters in this film) that I was rooting for the Germans within the first 10 minutes. This film is anti-America, pro-German WW2 propaganda, showing Americans as filthy, foul mouthed murderers and rapists and Germans as heroically defending their homeland.

    Shia LeBouf still can't act and still can't convincingly pull off any role in any film.

    Last big showdown of the film - A disabled Sherman tank is stuck out in the open with one track missing. It can't move but it can fire. 5 guys inside. 300 Germans stumble upon it and instead of doing the sensible thing and taking it out from a distance with a panzerfaust or a panzerschreck or an anti-tank weapon they... launch human waves at it and fire at it with rifles and machine guns while being mowed down.

    This fucking shit sandwich of a movie... another opportunity to realistically portray world war 2 squandered in favour of unrealistic hollywood bullshit where a handful of Americans mow down thousands and thousands of stupid Germans who think engaging armoured columns with small arms fire is a great idea. I'm so glad I don't spend money to watch films.

    Oh and every time a gun fires the bullets are red or green. Like lazers. The battles literally look like the Clone Wars from Star Wars ep.2.
    Last edited by Dayve; 30-11-14, 17:02.

  • #2
    Good then?

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Spatula View Post
      Good then?
      Good? There was a part of my stay in hospital where they woke me up at 9am and pulled tubes out of me that were inserted in to my pubic region and went up in to my stomach to suck blood and gunk out of the area that had been removed. It hurt like fuck and I screamed so loud it nearly shattered the windows on my ward.

      I enjoyed that more than I enjoyed this film.

      I shook my head so much watching it that I almost got whiplash. It was so shite that I actually got emotional typing my first post and struggled to type my criticism in a comprehensive way. It is... Wank.

      Brad Pitt - I know you're reading this. You are one of my favourite actors and you can play many roles. I don't think you've ever made a bad film... but I have lost faith in you.

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      • #4
        So the main reason you don't like it is because they use morally ambiguous characters and don't fall into the cliche of Americans being good and Germans being bastards? You'd prefer more foot stomping patriotism and simplistic themes in your films?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Burglar View Post
          So the main reason you don't like it is because they use morally ambiguous characters and don't fall into the cliche of Americans being good and Germans being bastards? You'd prefer more foot stomping patriotism and simplistic themes in your films?
          Nope, the reason I didn't like it was because the characters were deliberately cunts. Moral ambiguity was done much better in other WW2 movies/miniseries like Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers. I could've overlooked the terrible and annoying characters though IF the fighting had been realistic. Instead it looked like an 11-year old directed them and in editing said "can we make the bullets look like red and green lazers?".

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Dayve View Post
            "can we make the bullets look like red and green lazers?".
            You mean tracers? though to be fair it must be tempting for film makers to use something that visually depicts the gunfire.

            I saw this at the imax in Leicester square in the big shitty, I was supposed to be at work so a great couple of hours all round. The sound system was so good that bit at the start where the shells are landing as they're driving away from the battlefield, I could feel the vibrations through my body. Amazing.

            I noticed this had popped up on the pugwash sites at the weekend. Gotta love Oscar season and the judges preview screeners.

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            • #7
              Watched this yesterday, it was fucking horrific.. I don't know what Brad Pitt is doing in this movie, he was also the executive producer. My favorite part was when Shia La Beouf got shot in the head, everything else was just terrible.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Tartrazine View Post

                You mean tracers? though to be fair it must be tempting for film makers to use something that visually depicts the gunfire.

                I saw this at the imax in Leicester square in the big shitty, I was supposed to be at work so a great couple of hours all round. The sound system was so good that bit at the start where the shells are landing as they're driving away from the battlefield, I could feel the vibrations through my body. Amazing.

                I noticed this had popped up on the pugwash sites at the weekend. Gotta love Oscar season and the judges preview screeners.
                Oh yeah, the sound was fantastic. Shame about everything else though. Like the main characters being a bunch of rapists and murderers who were so horrible I actually felt no emotion whatsoever when they were doing battle with the Germans because I actually wanted the main characters to die. Or the Star Wars blaster battles. Or the German girl who got raped by one of the main characters then inexplicably falls in love with him immediately afterwards. Or the fact that Brad Pitt didn't have a scratch on him after a grenade detonating right in his face inside a sealed tank. Or the Tiger tank (which were only operated by highly trained and experienced crews) inexplicably leaving its advantageous position to do battle with 5 Shermans. Or the 300 Germans at the end choosing to charge at a broken-down Sherman, allowing themselves to be cut down in the hundreds, rather than simply use one of their Panzerfausts which would undoubtedly have exploded the shit out of it.

                I dunno man. Maybe it's because I just love history and have a great deal of knowledge about this stuff but all I could do all the way through the film was shake my head. It was ARSE!

                Originally posted by Boa
                Watched this yesterday, it was fucking horrific.. I don't know what Brad Pitt is doing in this movie, he was also the executive producer. My favorite part was when Shia La Beouf got shot in the head, everything else was just terrible.
                My favourite part was when 300 highly trained (and by that stage of the war most likely very experienced, probably transferred from the Russian front) German troops rushed a broken down American tank right out in the open, despite being armed with several of the best portable anti-tank weapons if the entire war that were easily capable of taking out a Sherman tank from the sides, back or even the front. THE FUCKING FRONT!

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                • #9
                  Yeah, and it shows like 1/3 of them carrying Panzerfausts when they're marching towards it, then they get there and they end up cracking open boxes of them saying these are our last so make them count.

                  The end part is stupid also, that young guy under the tank, as if the SS wouldn't know there is a hatch for the sherman tank fucking nonsense, and that one even sees him and does nothing.

                  What I find funny about this movie though is Shia LaBeouf. I heard he did some method acting for the movie... like not cleaning himself and stinking up the movie set so bad they had to ask him to clean himself. He also pulled out his tooth for the movie.. why he felt the need for such "Method Acting" is beyond me since he had such few lines. All things considered though it's probably the best movie he's been in, which isn't saying much at all really.

                  Last edited by Boa; 04-07-15, 09:32.

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                  • #10
                    Shia Le Bouf (not his real name surely) is a bit of an arse. Plus he's mental. He tried his hand at poetry (or was it song writing?) and he plagiarized an entire poem and tried to pass it off as his own work. Then when he got found out he wrote an apology to everyone he'd let down, but then someone noticed he'd also plagiarized the entire apology, so even that was someone else work lol. Then he turned up to the Oscars or whatever it was with a brown paper bag over his head with "I'm not famous anymore!" written on it.

                    I dunno, he's a bad actor and he's mental - obviously he knows some influential people in Hollywood (check his mum and dad, I guarantee one of them is extremely rich and/or good friends with some Hollywood bigwig) because there's just no way he'd get parts in big movies like this, not with how bad of an actor he is.

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                    • #11
                      it is actually his real name it's, Shia Saide LaBeouf.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Belimawr View Post
                        it is actually his real name it's, Shia Saide LaBeouf.
                        Daft name if you ask me. He ought to change it to an excellent, manly name. Like Damian.

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                        • #13

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by JackRabbit View Post
                            Booooooooooooooooring. Been hearing it all my life.

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