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I love apps.

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  • I love apps.

    so as people may or may not know I hate shops and having to put up with idiots who are there for no reason other than to get in my way and make me take longer than I need to.

    so today I needed to go to the dreaded petrol station, but remembered I'd got an email from shell (I always use their premium diesel that is now cheaper than petrol so fuck you petrol users I not only get cheaper tax and more MPG I get cheaper fuel) about their app had been updated for "pay and go" so before leaving I linked to my paypal account with the app, got into the petrol station pulled up at my pump of choice, pointed the app out of the window at a QR code thingy and a couple of seconds later the app came up saying go fill your car, so I filled my car put the pump back down and before I got the fuel cap back in I got an alert on my phone, the app telling me thank you for using shell and paypal telling me I had made a payment, then I got back in the car and just drove off much to the bemusement of all the numpties walking across to the shop.

    so really shell has gave me another reason to say fuck you to other fuel stations and more stuff like this needs to exist, there really needs to be a protest against places you can't just buy everything with an app.

    also it's not lazy doing click and collect on your shopping at asda then using the drive through pickup, it's just common sense.

  • #2
    But isnt using your mobile phone in a petrol station illegal and dangerous, because of, you know, bang bang juice?

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    • #3
      they tell you to do it from your car, because being in a big metal box that is full of electrical connections and designed to combust fuel is much safer.

      makes it even funnier when my car actually comes with a warning that due to the particle filter it shouldn't be parked on anything flammable, due to the insane heat built up in the particle filter to turn the particles into basically something non existent. (hence why particles from diesel engines were reduced by over 99% a few years ago)

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Belimawr View Post
        so as people may or may not know I hate shops and having to put up with idiots who are there for no reason other than to get in my way and make me take longer than I need to.

        so today I needed to go to the dreaded petrol station, but remembered I'd got an email from shell (I always use their premium diesel that is now cheaper than petrol so fuck you petrol users I not only get cheaper tax and more MPG I get cheaper fuel) about their app had been updated for "pay and go" so before leaving I linked to my paypal account with the app, got into the petrol station pulled up at my pump of choice, pointed the app out of the window at a QR code thingy and a couple of seconds later the app came up saying go fill your car, so I filled my car put the pump back down and before I got the fuel cap back in I got an alert on my phone, the app telling me thank you for using shell and paypal telling me I had made a payment, then I got back in the car and just drove off much to the bemusement of all the numpties walking across to the shop.

        so really shell has gave me another reason to say fuck you to other fuel stations and more stuff like this needs to exist, there really needs to be a protest against places you can't just buy everything with an app.

        also it's not lazy doing click and collect on your shopping at asda then using the drive through pickup, it's just common sense.
        So, its like using the direct debit pumps.
        You are so modern!

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        • #5
          sort of but no need to fuck on with a card just point your phone at the pump, then get out and fill up and your good to go and get the receipt and everything through your phone so you don't even have to wait for that.

          so it's actually considerably quicker as it bypasses all the chip and pin bollocks using an app and a QR code type thingy.

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          • #6
            Well that whole "having to remember a 4 digit number" is such a problem, I see what you mean. Certainly remembering to take your phone to the car, scrolling through to the app, activating the app, and then hoping that it doesn't accidentally connect to the pump three meters away has got to be a much more efficient way of paying for petrol.

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            • #7
              it's not about remembering the number, as for opening the app you never get to pull straight up to a pump so you can open the app while your waiting for the daft cunt in front of you to move.

              as for connecting to the wrong pump, the distance, size and angle of the boards you would need to actually try to connect to the wrong pump as it is physically impossible to target another pump due to line of sight and the size of the target.

              literally on pulling up to the pump it took me 2 seconds to put the phone to the window and link up, then by the time I got out of the car the payment was authorised, so unless you can do the chip and pin while getting out of the car I would say that is all saved time. then you add in the fact I just hung up the pump got back in and drove off, no having to mess on with the loyalty card or retrieving receipts, as it was all done and in a notification on my phone seconds after replacing the pump.

              also how can you ever forget your phone? it's like an impossibility. honestly I have more chance of forgetting my car keys than I have of forgetting my phone.

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              • #8
                And I'm sure those 15 seconds that you saved will markedly improve your life.

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                • #9
                  You may think you've won a victory, but having worked in a petrol station I can tell you what was going through the mind of whoever was serving.

                  "Thank you shell for making an app that means I have one less complete and utter cunt to deal with today".

                  Because that's what customers are. Let me tell you about customers. I had my feet up on the desk one night (the only time I did it and only for 30 seconds because there was no comfortable position in which to sit and put your feet up on the desk, the chair had no back on it) but a customer saw me. At 3am, knackered, bored, mentally ill from spending 4 or 5 months being awake all night and asleep all day and depressed from having yet another £200 or so deducted from my wages because some shit eating CUNT didn't want to pay for petrol, I had a customer telling me I shouldn't be putting my feet up on the serving desk because food is served over it. So I thought about it for about 10 seconds (I was slow because I was knackered and depressed and wondering how I was supposed to pay nearly £500 rent when half my wages had been deducted) and told him that:

                  1. All the food we sell is in packets, sealed, vacuum packed and shit.

                  2. The money he just handed me was covered in turd particles, cocaine, spit, ball sweat, urine and semen.

                  3. The money I'm about to give him back as change is covered in turd particles, cocaine, spit, ball sweat, urine and semen (some of it mine, some of it probably his because he's probably handled those coins before at some point in his life)

                  4. I've got floors to mop, just go away.

                  He reported me to my manager. Manager had a laughing fit after hearing what I had said. Manager told me to in future not put my feet on desk, even if they are cleaner than money.

                  That's customers. Cuntstomers.
                  Last edited by Dayve; 25-07-15, 01:29.

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